What to do when your love of loud goes and backfires on you?

Facing up to reality is not one of my strongest suits: a friend’s illness, thank-you cards that should’ve been written a year ago, the uncontrollable urge to freak out and flee to Spain – and on top of all that, hearing that’s been disappearing for quite some time now. It’s one of the hazards of being a music lover and my job, and it’s been like this as far back as I can remember – the higher the decibel level, the better I feel. Noise never annoyed me, although it made for a great Buzzcocks song.

But when The Slits blazed through Austin during last November’s tour, I wore my first-ever set of earplugs to a show. I came away from the whole experience feeling oh-so grown-up and responsible for once, but at the gym the following Monday, had the iPod shuffle cranked up so loud that the girl on the next bike was alarmed enough to let me know she could hear it the whole time. Not cool.

And as they say, denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. Tinnitus and trying to convince myself that most people mutter during conversations are only a couple of the clues I need that now might be the time to start reading up on hearing aids. So if I come across the names of any hearing aid companies who market to 30-something idjits like me whose love of loud, hard and fast has done its number on our little ears, by all means, I'll pass them along.


MASCORROLANDIA’S LOUD-ASS HIT PARADE 2007


Black Sabbath – Jack The Stripper/Fairies Wear Boots

Foo Fighters – Down In The Park

Gogol Bordello – Start Wearing Purple

Calvin Harris – Vegas

The Dirtbombs – Got To Give It Up

The Yardbirds – Over, Under, Sideways, Down

Mott the Hoople – All The Way From Memphis

David Bowie – Width of a Circle

Magazine – Shot By Both Sides

Amy Winehouse – You Know I’m No Good

Fountains of Wayne - Someone To Love

Gerry Rafferty – Baker Street

Motorhead – God Save The Queen

Freestylers with Sir Real – Fast Life