The First Annual No, You Can't Watch International Punk Rawk Film Fest

Wanna help me bankroll my fantasy film festival?

Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled that IFC's playing the punk rock card this month. Not only are they airing the brand new Don Letts film, Punk: Attitude, they're also showing the fabulously over-the-top The Filth and the Fury, the indie-cutie SLC Punk, and the grating, self-hating Sid & Nancy. There's also Velvet Goldmine and Hedwig & The Angry Inch. Now while these are wonderful and all, I'd be remiss in not mentioning the other rarely-seen gems out there; films made with buckets of blood, sweat and tears - not to mention shoestring budgets and dodgy lines of credit. These forgotten flicks deserve to have their 15 minutes in the limelight again, too, damn it.

So without any further ado, here are my picks for the First Annual No, You Can't Watch International Punk Rawk Film Fest:

Opening Night: The Early Daze

Chelsea Girls - We probably couldn't (and wouldn't) sit down for the entire two-plus hours of this, but you've gotta admit that key scenes - such as Ondine's Pope slapping that girl around and Brigid Berlin/Polk taking a poke on camera - are pretty fuckin' punk rock, man.

Nico: Icon - Plenty of footage of the Velvets and interviews with people ranging from Nico's aunt, John Cale, Jackson Browne, Alan Wise, her son Ari (whose father was the lush-lipped French film heartthrob Alain Delon), and others who hung around with her in Berlin, New York, Positano and Manchester. Nico's punk credentials also include an Iggy Pop interview out there in which he talks about how she was the one who turned him on to the pleasures of giving oral sex.

Women In Revolt - Starring Holly Woodlawn, Jackie Curtis, and Candy Darling. Drag queens are merely some of the earliest known punk rockers. Period.

Ziggy Stardust: Live In Concert - Where would this film festival be without David Bowie?

Born To Boogie - The T. Tex documentary produced by Ringo Starr. Gotta touch on the glam, man.


Second night: New York State of Mind

Subway Riders - The Amos Poe film, with Cookie Mueller. Never saw it, but why not?

Rock and Roll High School - Goes without saying.

End of The Century - Hands down the best rockumentary I've seen this year. The morning after seeing it, I awoke walking on air, singing "Beat on The Brat" to myself from that moment on. God bless the Ramones.

The Nomi Song - The Klaus Nomi biography, featuring Ann Magnuson of Bongwater and musical wizard and jack-of-all-talents Kristian Hoffman, who was also a fixture on the New York scene of the late 70's and early 80's.


Third night: England's Dreaming

The Punk Rock Movie - Viva Don Letts. The fact that he produced the Slits album, Cut, makes him a hero of mine, and indeed in this one, you'll see lead singer Ari Up taunting a traumatized school kid at some after-school gig in a recreation center. It's a hoot. You also see Jayne County and a host of other lurid luminaries getting up to lots of no good.

Jubilee - Rest in peace, Derek Jarman.

Rude Boy - Not that great, but it does feature The Clash.

Breaking Glass - Hazel O'Connor rules in this one. Whatever happened to her???

D.O.A. - This one features a rather painful interview with Sid and Nancy. Talk about slow reaction times. Heroin is a helluva drug.

The Great Rock and Roll Swindle - Russ Meyer was set to direct, but it just didn't work out that way. Sigh.

Sid and Nancy - Chloe Webb and Gary Oldman's caricatures of the doomed couple are comedic and heartbreaking at the same time. Courtney Love's appearance as their junkie buddy is like, so not surprising.


Fourth night: Big, Bad, and Stateside

Decline of Western Civilization, Part 1 - Penelope Spheeris' first feature, chock full of performances by X, Fear, the Germs, Black Flag, and the Circle Jerks. I need to sit down and watch the whole thing. I remember seeing bits and pieces of it on "Donahue!"

Another State of Mind - A chronicle of Social Distortion on tour, along with Youth Brigade and a bit of Minor Threat.

Desperate Teenage Lovedolls and Lovedoll Superstar - I'll always be preaching the gospel of Redd Kross, and happily so. I say testify, mofo!

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains - A low-budget, former "Night Flight" staple featuring a young Diane Lane, Laura Dern, Ray Winstone (who'd later appear in "Sexy Beast"), Steve Jones and Paul Cook from the Pistols, Paul Simonon of the Clash, and a steamy shower scene.

Repo Man - Oh, what the hell...

SLC Punk - Maybe.

The "Punk Rock" episode of Quincy - Does anyone else remember this??? Supposedly there's also a punk rock episode of "C.H.I.P.S." out there, too.


Final night: Into the 21st Century

I Am Trying To Break Your Heart - I'm not a huge Wilco fan, but from what I hear this includes everything that no DIY story would be without - painkiller addiction, vomiting, migraines, and inter-tribal angst. It's supposed to be a great little doc.

End of the Century

We Jam Econo: The Story of the Minutemen - I'm chomping at the bit to see this one - it's in my Top 5 of Must See's and is showing at the Drafthouse in Austin in August, on the 8th through the 11th. No doubt the interviews and footage of D. Boon will be hard to watch, but one can't possibly pass up Mike Watt, Greg Ginn, Henry Rollins, Richard Hell, Flea, and Ian MacKaye, either. Holy Kee-rist. I can't wait, man. For the guys at The Minutemen.com: please bring this to DFW, and soon! We have venues aplenty - in Dallas, there's the Angelika, the Magnolia, the Inwood, the Granada, and the MAC. Or 1919 Hemphill, the Ridglea, or even the Modern in Fort Worth. Bring it on!

You're Gonna Miss Me - Here's another one that promises to be a killer-diller doc - Kevin McAlester's documentary about Roky Erickson which premiered at SXSW this year. Note to self: be sure to buy that 13th Floor Elevators and Roky Erickson anthology beforehand, just to psyche self up soundtrack-wise.