Letter to Santa: I haven't been on my best behavior, but regardless, I'd like the following, if you please:

- Half Man Half Biscuit or The Deathray Davies doing an album of holiday favorites

- Happiness, good health and prosperity for all my loved ones

- A letter from my mother, saying that I can’t come out and play with the rest of the world right now

- More cojones

- More money-sense

- Those Jeffrey Milstein jet portraits. Why do planes have to be so damned sexy?