The silence during and after the storms, and seven lessons learned...
OK, I've been strangely silent since my last post, but like everyone else in America and around the world, I've been glued to the news, watching with my mouth wide open in horror as Hurricane Katrina raped and ravaged the Gulf Coast, robbing an entire region of lives, belongings, and dignity. And not even a month later, when New Orleans had just about been drained and the recovery effort was only emerging from its mewling stage, along came Hurricane Rita, making everyone in charge scramble to cover their asses this time because that Katrina, well, that screwy bitch. Much to the dismay of those supposedly in charge, she debunked a lot of myths in a matter of seconds, including the ones that compassionate conservatism and Homeland Security were actually working.
In a nutshell, a shitload of lessons have been learned since then:
1. If you earn less than $200,000 a year, the Bush administration does not give a shit about you. Period.
2. Always have on hand your identification - driver's license, passport, state-issued I.D.'s, Social Security cards - and make sure your important papers (health, home and car insurance, titles, deeds, et al) or good copies of them are within reach, preferably in a regulation-sized lock box or some other container that's water- and/or fire-proof and can be easily toted. Something that can be snatched up in a hurry, when the shit goes down.
3. Take Polaroids of your valuables. When the looters come through and snatch 'em up, you'll at least have proof of prior ownership.
4. Carry cash. Currency is key. The next time your other half laughs at you because you're a nut about saving your change and rolling it up into those cute little tubes, show them the $110 and change you have laying around in that cabinet over there and feel free to smirk for the rest of the afternoon. Just remember that in the apocalyptic aftermath of the next inevitable natural or man-made catastrophe, your debit card will be worth fuck-all, my friend.
Also keep in mind that currency can come in other forms, such as bottled water, MRE's, canned foods, diapers, baby formula, fuel, matches, booze, cigarettes, kind bud, or any other good that can be exchanged for another.
5. Have firepower, will travel. Sorry, but that's the way it is, and this is the 21st century, after all. Hurricane Katrina brought out the total goodwill and big-heartedness of the American people, but it also brought out the sheer ugliness, as we saw in several well-documented examples. And to lovingly borrow from Walter Sobchak in "The Big Lebowski," pacifism would not be something to hide behind in this sort of situation. I'd happily shoot anyone fool enough to fuck with my loved ones or me, and I believe that any upstanding, decent citizen would do the same. A good .38, along with a shotgun and for grins, maybe a smaller-caliber automatic, like a .22, should be enough to get you through the day as your world crumbles around you.
6. Have an evacuation plan. What's the best route you can take that'll get you the hell out of Dodge, and tout suite? I mean, come on! Didn't you see that morass of people trying to squeeze out of Houston and then on up I-45?! What a nightmare. Chances are, you're not going to be as lucky as my cousin Debbie and her family, who'd gotten out of Galveston and seven hours later, coming up on the exit for Hobby Airport, decided to take a detour to the airport and hop on the next Southwest flight to Las Vegas, where Debbie's sis - and my cousin - Darlene, lives. How's that for timing and split-decision making? As for me, my credit sucks, and I'd be nowhere near DFW Airport, so this would be something to ponder. And I certainly won't be counting on local officials to lead the way out of town.
7. If the country was divided before Katrina and Rita struck, it's even more so now. But at least Tom DeLay's been indicted, and Bill Frist is under investigation, so that's enough to make me all warm and fuzzy inside, at least temporarily. That and the joke about Bush trying to sell Louisiana back to the French...
In a nutshell, a shitload of lessons have been learned since then:
1. If you earn less than $200,000 a year, the Bush administration does not give a shit about you. Period.
2. Always have on hand your identification - driver's license, passport, state-issued I.D.'s, Social Security cards - and make sure your important papers (health, home and car insurance, titles, deeds, et al) or good copies of them are within reach, preferably in a regulation-sized lock box or some other container that's water- and/or fire-proof and can be easily toted. Something that can be snatched up in a hurry, when the shit goes down.
3. Take Polaroids of your valuables. When the looters come through and snatch 'em up, you'll at least have proof of prior ownership.
4. Carry cash. Currency is key. The next time your other half laughs at you because you're a nut about saving your change and rolling it up into those cute little tubes, show them the $110 and change you have laying around in that cabinet over there and feel free to smirk for the rest of the afternoon. Just remember that in the apocalyptic aftermath of the next inevitable natural or man-made catastrophe, your debit card will be worth fuck-all, my friend.
Also keep in mind that currency can come in other forms, such as bottled water, MRE's, canned foods, diapers, baby formula, fuel, matches, booze, cigarettes, kind bud, or any other good that can be exchanged for another.
5. Have firepower, will travel. Sorry, but that's the way it is, and this is the 21st century, after all. Hurricane Katrina brought out the total goodwill and big-heartedness of the American people, but it also brought out the sheer ugliness, as we saw in several well-documented examples. And to lovingly borrow from Walter Sobchak in "The Big Lebowski," pacifism would not be something to hide behind in this sort of situation. I'd happily shoot anyone fool enough to fuck with my loved ones or me, and I believe that any upstanding, decent citizen would do the same. A good .38, along with a shotgun and for grins, maybe a smaller-caliber automatic, like a .22, should be enough to get you through the day as your world crumbles around you.
6. Have an evacuation plan. What's the best route you can take that'll get you the hell out of Dodge, and tout suite? I mean, come on! Didn't you see that morass of people trying to squeeze out of Houston and then on up I-45?! What a nightmare. Chances are, you're not going to be as lucky as my cousin Debbie and her family, who'd gotten out of Galveston and seven hours later, coming up on the exit for Hobby Airport, decided to take a detour to the airport and hop on the next Southwest flight to Las Vegas, where Debbie's sis - and my cousin - Darlene, lives. How's that for timing and split-decision making? As for me, my credit sucks, and I'd be nowhere near DFW Airport, so this would be something to ponder. And I certainly won't be counting on local officials to lead the way out of town.
7. If the country was divided before Katrina and Rita struck, it's even more so now. But at least Tom DeLay's been indicted, and Bill Frist is under investigation, so that's enough to make me all warm and fuzzy inside, at least temporarily. That and the joke about Bush trying to sell Louisiana back to the French...
posted by No, You Can't Watch at 8:26 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home