The worst thing about these high gas prices...
...is feeling like I'm lucky just because I went to Costco last weekend and found gas for $2.70 a gallon. Like an abused woman who's so grateful that her old man's not beating the crap out of her at the moment, that any respite from his usual brutality is something to celebrate for the moment. And here we are - breathing easy before the shit rises above the $3 mark here in Texas.
Whatever. Guess we'll just have to continue monitoring the situation in Nigeria and the U.S.-Iran pissing contest, what with oil prices hitting $72 a barrel in London today. Good grief.
Even more irritating is the 'Gas War' email I've been receiving from my right-leaning friends recently, imploring me not to buy gas from ExxonMobil, because, get this: if poor ExxonMobil isn't selling any gas, they'll somehow be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit...But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers...Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from EXXON/MOBIL UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $1.30 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.
OK, lemme get this straight: if I send this to 30 friends, and they send it to 30 friends, and so on, and so on, blah blah blah, ExxonMobil's going to lower their prices?
First of all, get the phukk outta my face with that mess. So nice know that the senders of this cyber-drivel have suddenly realized that we're all taking it up the ass on this one, minus the foreplay or even the Astroglide, for that matter. Second of all, didn't anybody ever teach these people that all caps is the equivalent of 'shouting' in email? And yeah, I'm just so utterly bloody convinced that ExxonMobil would deign to lower gas prices just because a bunch of whiny-ass SUV drivers feel the need to waste precious bandwidth with their newfound "look at me, I suddenly give a shit!" armchair activist fervor. Like crocodile tears from the abusive lover who promises not to be such an prick anymore.
Yeah. Thanks, but no thanks.
Speaking of pricks, how about ExxonMobil CEO's Lee Raymond's $400 million retirement package? Gotta love that little bit of salt in the wound! You'd think that with all that dough, this pasty-faced, grossly obese pig-sluice could afford some liposuction and dental work, but I guess not. He's too busy stuffing his face with the proceeds from America's misery.
Must be nice!
Anyway, maybe it's the heat that's making me so cranky. 101 degrees in April will do that to a person. And what's up with TXU's rolling blackouts today? That's a new one on me, man. Could this mean we're now catching up with California in terms of seasonally-related colossal consumption crunches? I'm thinking of a few summers back here, when there were all those rolling blackouts in southern California, and those ass-clowns at Enron were laughing about making a mint off the power-grid purveyors and little old ladies dying of heatstroke. That still burns my bacon to this day, and the only penance I can think of for people like that and Lee Raymond would be for them to be thrown into a big-ass tankard of crude - or wait, how about a tank of $3 per gallon regular unleaded? - and right before they're about to take their last, lucid gasp, someone should toss a match in. Pffft!!! Buh-bye!!!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not nice of me. If she could hear me, my mother, God rest her soul, would smack my ass for that one. And true, I've probably lost a few karma points with that last quip, but ya know what? I'm OK with it for now. Compared to Lee Raymond's karmic report card, I'm perfectly content to be a C-student at this point. Trust me.
Whatever. Guess we'll just have to continue monitoring the situation in Nigeria and the U.S.-Iran pissing contest, what with oil prices hitting $72 a barrel in London today. Good grief.
Even more irritating is the 'Gas War' email I've been receiving from my right-leaning friends recently, imploring me not to buy gas from ExxonMobil, because, get this: if poor ExxonMobil isn't selling any gas, they'll somehow be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit...But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers...Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from EXXON/MOBIL UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $1.30 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.
OK, lemme get this straight: if I send this to 30 friends, and they send it to 30 friends, and so on, and so on, blah blah blah, ExxonMobil's going to lower their prices?
First of all, get the phukk outta my face with that mess. So nice know that the senders of this cyber-drivel have suddenly realized that we're all taking it up the ass on this one, minus the foreplay or even the Astroglide, for that matter. Second of all, didn't anybody ever teach these people that all caps is the equivalent of 'shouting' in email? And yeah, I'm just so utterly bloody convinced that ExxonMobil would deign to lower gas prices just because a bunch of whiny-ass SUV drivers feel the need to waste precious bandwidth with their newfound "look at me, I suddenly give a shit!" armchair activist fervor. Like crocodile tears from the abusive lover who promises not to be such an prick anymore.
Yeah. Thanks, but no thanks.
Speaking of pricks, how about ExxonMobil CEO's Lee Raymond's $400 million retirement package? Gotta love that little bit of salt in the wound! You'd think that with all that dough, this pasty-faced, grossly obese pig-sluice could afford some liposuction and dental work, but I guess not. He's too busy stuffing his face with the proceeds from America's misery.
Must be nice!
Anyway, maybe it's the heat that's making me so cranky. 101 degrees in April will do that to a person. And what's up with TXU's rolling blackouts today? That's a new one on me, man. Could this mean we're now catching up with California in terms of seasonally-related colossal consumption crunches? I'm thinking of a few summers back here, when there were all those rolling blackouts in southern California, and those ass-clowns at Enron were laughing about making a mint off the power-grid purveyors and little old ladies dying of heatstroke. That still burns my bacon to this day, and the only penance I can think of for people like that and Lee Raymond would be for them to be thrown into a big-ass tankard of crude - or wait, how about a tank of $3 per gallon regular unleaded? - and right before they're about to take their last, lucid gasp, someone should toss a match in. Pffft!!! Buh-bye!!!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not nice of me. If she could hear me, my mother, God rest her soul, would smack my ass for that one. And true, I've probably lost a few karma points with that last quip, but ya know what? I'm OK with it for now. Compared to Lee Raymond's karmic report card, I'm perfectly content to be a C-student at this point. Trust me.
posted by No, You Can't Watch at 3:31 PM
4 Comments:
Nice blog, like your political rants. Like you, I often find myself in the middle, and pissed off at what is happening on either side. It's good to see that someone else is thinking the same way.
Oh my GAWD, Gee - you just seared the eyballs right outta my sockets! Laffing the whole time, too. Please continue to ROCK ON in this vein...
Actually, taj didn't just post that, Japan-o-Matic! did...just doing a little editing for tee...
cee.
This is the real Taj....and I say what cee said! Which I was about to post, but then I saw I'd already posted it.
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