The mother of all record reviews: Timothy Herrman on the Minutemen CD, 'Double Nickels on the Dime'

A five-star review for a five-star album. I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself, because I know exactly where this guy Timothy's coming from. From Mark Prindle's Minutemen page:

http://www.markprindle.com/minutemen.htm

"This record makes me wanna strut down the street like I'm a secret agent. This record makes me wanna honor the veterans of this country. This record makes me wanna kick an old lady in the balls. This record makes me wanna dance with the woman I love. This record makes me wanna throw a Molotov cocktail at a cop car. This record makes me wanna climb an allegorical mountain. This record makes me wanna cry because it's so beautiful. This record makes me wanna fuck your sister. This record makes me wanna give a homeless person a ... nickel. This record makes me grateful to be alive."

Bless.

I also had no idea that "Dr. Wu" was a Steely Dan cover, either. Seriously. Don't you just love the Internet?

The lyrics are simply boss. Check out the abbreviated Minutemen version:

Don’t seem right
Well, I’ve been strung out here all night
I’ve been waiting for the taste
You said you’d bring to me

Biscayne Bay
Where the Cuban children sleep all day
I was searching for the song
You used to sing to me

Katy lies
You could see it in her eyes
And imagine my surprise
When I saw you

Are you with me, Dr. Wu?
Or are you really just a shadow
Of the man that I once knew?
Are you crazy
Are you high
Or are you just an ordinary guy?

Have you done all you can do
Are you with me, doctor?
Can you hear me, doctor?

*Naturally, special thanks go to Walter Becker and Donald Fagen for the original version, and to LyricsFreak.com for the full text.