Double your pleasure, double your 'Dolls'
If you're cuckoo for trashy cinema classics like I am - cheerleaders for camp, if you will - chances are you've been waiting with bated breath for next Tuesday, when we'll get a heaping double dose of tits and torment, pill-popping and bed-hopping. A double feature made in DVD heaven - complete with double-D's, drowned out dramatics, death and redemption.
We're so there!
Fox Home Entertainment is not only re-releasing a two-disc version of the 1967 camp classic Valley of The Dolls on this blessid, most perfect day, but finally - at long bloody last!!! - is also releasing, for the very first time ever, a special two-disc set of Russ Meyer and Roger Ebert's 1970 bosomaniacal spectacular, Beyond The Valley of the Dolls. Pardon me as I dab my eyes here, but this is something I never thought would happen in my tawdriest dreams. This saw a VHS release back in the early 90's, I believe, and was only available on DVD in the UK until now.
"It's my happening and it freaks me out!"
How did we get so lucky - with this two-for-one treat?
The girl trio formula is indeed a magical thing on screen, especially when it's hand in hand with sex and drugs and rock and roll. Jacqueline Susann's groundbreaking sleaze-fest translated most beautimously from page to screen, with its never-ending rivalries, histrionics and crashing realities - good girls gone bad, a morality tale with a few Miltowns thrown into the mix. Patty Duke may have wanted us to call her Anna, but to me, she'll always be Neely O'Hara. I actually got to speak with her once, on the air right before Glenn Mitchell died. She did her "Sparkle, Neely, sparkle!" bit for us right there over the phone, and of course, I was just over the moon. Anyway, who could forget Barbara Parkins as Anne Wells, the paragon of elegance, and Susan Hayward, minus her wig in the Helen vs. Neely bathroom brawl? And let's have a moment for the late, great Sharon Tate. Was that woman just not stunning to look at, even as she delivered the most tortured portrayal of this tragic Monroe-esque actress who only wanted to be seen as more than tits and ass, and who was too nice to tell her leechy mother to get stuffed? My heart just aches for that poor Jennifer North every damn time - and for Sharon Tate, too. But get ready, 'cos when Tony serenades her with "Come Live With Me" and later collapses in a heap on the steps outside the concert hall, it's a classic Kleenex moment.
Beyond The Valley of The Dolls, meanwhile, offers up another kind of Kleenex moment altogether - especially if you were an adolescent who spent a lot of time sneaking into drive-ins back in 1970. Scripted by Roger Ebert and directed by everyone's favorite double-D auteur, Russ Meyer, it's hopefully about to get the heapings of praise it so totally deserves, chronicling the rise and fall of the all-girl power trio, the Carrie Nations, and the trials and tribulations that come with instant stardom and fortune after their move to L.A., where of course, lead singer Kelly McNamara - played with wide-eyed and bushy-tailed sass by Dolly Read, who'd later go on to marry Dick Martin of Laugh In - has a fabulously wealthy aunt who's not at all suspicious that her niece shows up on her doorstep inquiring about her 'share of the bread.' Drummer Petronella Danforth, played by Marcia McBroom, is about as adorable as they come, even when she stupidly gets all tangled up with some Muhammed Ali-meets-O.J. Simpson character behind her boyfriend's back. And then there's Casey Anderson, sort of the Jennifer North of Beyond, all lush curves and spidery lashes, played by Miss October 1968, Cynthia Myers, who still looks like a million bucks today. If someone were to ask me which Beyond The Valley of The Dolls character I'd want to be, I'd have to say Casey, despite her gruesome and untimely Meyer-esque ending, where all good lesbians seem to end up meeting their maker in the end. Remember Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!?
The remaining cast of characters keep the pace going nicely - Z-Man, the eccentric, Spector-ish rock and roll producer with a big secret, but who takes the girls under his wing and throws great parties at his beach house nevertheless; Harris, Kelly's needy, irritating boyfriend who gets shuffled aside as the girls rise to fame; Ashley St. Ives, a nymphomaniacal, man-eating porn star, played by Meyer's paramour at the time, Edy Williams; Lance, Kelly's skeevy, gold-digging stud; and one of my all-time personal Russ Meyer favorites, Haji, who appears as a welcome, writhing and grinding vision every so often. And the soundtrack rocks.
"And there are juice freaks, and there are pill freaks. Everybody's a freak. What you need is some grass, or a downer, or something."
Apparently there'd been a big email campaign urging Fox to just go ahead and release BVD already, and even though their sister entity the Fox News Channel gives me a giant gas bubble, I'm stoked. I can tell ya, this'll so be worth the 28% interest rate they're charging me on my credit card.
Sorry to digress, but for once I'm thankful to Fox for doing something right. I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank the Fox master control operator who - during a recent screening of BVD - put up the Fox Movie Channel 'bug' (network ID) at the bottom of the screen when Cynthia Myers' beautifully-formed backside graced the screen as she cavorted with Erica Gavin, right before Z-Man, aka Super Woman, flipped out and started killing his party guests and his German valet. Was that done on purpose? Dear God, I hope so. Had Bill O'Reilly been watching, I bet it would've been a Kleenex moment for him, too.
Some Pre-Dolls Fun For The People:
Jimmy McDonough's Big Bosoms and Square Jaws: The Biography of Russ Meyer, King of The Sex Film. You will love this guy's writing if you haven't tripped on it already, and if you're scouting out your summer reading list, give this one a go. Best of all, McDonough includes tons of interviews and stories from and about the women Meyer immortalized on screen - Tura Satana, Erica Gavin, Lori Williams, Haji, Uschi Digard, Rena Horten, Lorna Maitland, et al. Speaking of Jimmie McDonough, check out his tribute to the Lord of the Power Cord, Link Wray. It'll leave you in tears.
Isn't She Great (2000) - Bette Midler plays the shit out of Jacqueline Susann, who probably would've loved every minute of it. God bless 'em both. I remember the box office reviews not being so boffo when it came out, but trust me, after that 1998 made-for-TV, bring-out-the-hankies-and-Xanax version starring Michelle Lee, I needed this one. And Bette Midler's performance is not over the top or undignified in any way at all - nothing's treated flippantly or irreverently here, especially not the matter of Jackie and Irving's autistic son, or her battle with breast cancer. Ms. Midler's love for Jackie shines right through, and the supporting cast rocks the house: David Hyde Pierce, John Cleese, Nathan Lane, and Stockard Channing, who's a riot as Jackie's actress friend, especially when she comes in reeling off some horror story about working with the Nelson family on the Ozzie & Harriet series, and when she finishes, Bette's Jackie nods in agreement and hisses, "They're cocksuckers!" It's always one of those "play that again!" moments for me.
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1981) - Another great girl trio flick, starring Diane Lane, the yooooouuunggg Laura Dern, Ray Winstone (from Sexy Beast), Steve and Paul from the Pistols, and Paul Simonon, who was the most perfect piece of eye candy to ever grace the early 80's screen, even for that brief, cheesy moment. Remember Fee Waybill of the Tubes, playing the lead singer of Metal Corpses? In a hideous twist of fate, former Tubes and Grateful Dead keyboardist Vince Welnick, who just passed away last Friday, was also in the film. He also appeared in Xanadu and on Alice Cooper and Friends. Rest in peace, sir...
Attention, Austinites! The Alamo Drafthouse is hosting a double bill of this with BVD this Saturday, the 10th, at the Independence Brewing Co. You've gotta go! For me! Being broke blows goats, and I wouldn't get much further than Waco, even on my crappy credit. But if you go, promise me you'll have your picture taken with Cynthia Myers and Erica Gavin, and give my best to Z-Man.
We're so there!
Fox Home Entertainment is not only re-releasing a two-disc version of the 1967 camp classic Valley of The Dolls on this blessid, most perfect day, but finally - at long bloody last!!! - is also releasing, for the very first time ever, a special two-disc set of Russ Meyer and Roger Ebert's 1970 bosomaniacal spectacular, Beyond The Valley of the Dolls. Pardon me as I dab my eyes here, but this is something I never thought would happen in my tawdriest dreams. This saw a VHS release back in the early 90's, I believe, and was only available on DVD in the UK until now.
"It's my happening and it freaks me out!"
How did we get so lucky - with this two-for-one treat?
The girl trio formula is indeed a magical thing on screen, especially when it's hand in hand with sex and drugs and rock and roll. Jacqueline Susann's groundbreaking sleaze-fest translated most beautimously from page to screen, with its never-ending rivalries, histrionics and crashing realities - good girls gone bad, a morality tale with a few Miltowns thrown into the mix. Patty Duke may have wanted us to call her Anna, but to me, she'll always be Neely O'Hara. I actually got to speak with her once, on the air right before Glenn Mitchell died. She did her "Sparkle, Neely, sparkle!" bit for us right there over the phone, and of course, I was just over the moon. Anyway, who could forget Barbara Parkins as Anne Wells, the paragon of elegance, and Susan Hayward, minus her wig in the Helen vs. Neely bathroom brawl? And let's have a moment for the late, great Sharon Tate. Was that woman just not stunning to look at, even as she delivered the most tortured portrayal of this tragic Monroe-esque actress who only wanted to be seen as more than tits and ass, and who was too nice to tell her leechy mother to get stuffed? My heart just aches for that poor Jennifer North every damn time - and for Sharon Tate, too. But get ready, 'cos when Tony serenades her with "Come Live With Me" and later collapses in a heap on the steps outside the concert hall, it's a classic Kleenex moment.
Beyond The Valley of The Dolls, meanwhile, offers up another kind of Kleenex moment altogether - especially if you were an adolescent who spent a lot of time sneaking into drive-ins back in 1970. Scripted by Roger Ebert and directed by everyone's favorite double-D auteur, Russ Meyer, it's hopefully about to get the heapings of praise it so totally deserves, chronicling the rise and fall of the all-girl power trio, the Carrie Nations, and the trials and tribulations that come with instant stardom and fortune after their move to L.A., where of course, lead singer Kelly McNamara - played with wide-eyed and bushy-tailed sass by Dolly Read, who'd later go on to marry Dick Martin of Laugh In - has a fabulously wealthy aunt who's not at all suspicious that her niece shows up on her doorstep inquiring about her 'share of the bread.' Drummer Petronella Danforth, played by Marcia McBroom, is about as adorable as they come, even when she stupidly gets all tangled up with some Muhammed Ali-meets-O.J. Simpson character behind her boyfriend's back. And then there's Casey Anderson, sort of the Jennifer North of Beyond, all lush curves and spidery lashes, played by Miss October 1968, Cynthia Myers, who still looks like a million bucks today. If someone were to ask me which Beyond The Valley of The Dolls character I'd want to be, I'd have to say Casey, despite her gruesome and untimely Meyer-esque ending, where all good lesbians seem to end up meeting their maker in the end. Remember Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!?
The remaining cast of characters keep the pace going nicely - Z-Man, the eccentric, Spector-ish rock and roll producer with a big secret, but who takes the girls under his wing and throws great parties at his beach house nevertheless; Harris, Kelly's needy, irritating boyfriend who gets shuffled aside as the girls rise to fame; Ashley St. Ives, a nymphomaniacal, man-eating porn star, played by Meyer's paramour at the time, Edy Williams; Lance, Kelly's skeevy, gold-digging stud; and one of my all-time personal Russ Meyer favorites, Haji, who appears as a welcome, writhing and grinding vision every so often. And the soundtrack rocks.
"And there are juice freaks, and there are pill freaks. Everybody's a freak. What you need is some grass, or a downer, or something."
Apparently there'd been a big email campaign urging Fox to just go ahead and release BVD already, and even though their sister entity the Fox News Channel gives me a giant gas bubble, I'm stoked. I can tell ya, this'll so be worth the 28% interest rate they're charging me on my credit card.
Sorry to digress, but for once I'm thankful to Fox for doing something right. I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank the Fox master control operator who - during a recent screening of BVD - put up the Fox Movie Channel 'bug' (network ID) at the bottom of the screen when Cynthia Myers' beautifully-formed backside graced the screen as she cavorted with Erica Gavin, right before Z-Man, aka Super Woman, flipped out and started killing his party guests and his German valet. Was that done on purpose? Dear God, I hope so. Had Bill O'Reilly been watching, I bet it would've been a Kleenex moment for him, too.
Some Pre-Dolls Fun For The People:
Jimmy McDonough's Big Bosoms and Square Jaws: The Biography of Russ Meyer, King of The Sex Film. You will love this guy's writing if you haven't tripped on it already, and if you're scouting out your summer reading list, give this one a go. Best of all, McDonough includes tons of interviews and stories from and about the women Meyer immortalized on screen - Tura Satana, Erica Gavin, Lori Williams, Haji, Uschi Digard, Rena Horten, Lorna Maitland, et al. Speaking of Jimmie McDonough, check out his tribute to the Lord of the Power Cord, Link Wray. It'll leave you in tears.
Isn't She Great (2000) - Bette Midler plays the shit out of Jacqueline Susann, who probably would've loved every minute of it. God bless 'em both. I remember the box office reviews not being so boffo when it came out, but trust me, after that 1998 made-for-TV, bring-out-the-hankies-and-Xanax version starring Michelle Lee, I needed this one. And Bette Midler's performance is not over the top or undignified in any way at all - nothing's treated flippantly or irreverently here, especially not the matter of Jackie and Irving's autistic son, or her battle with breast cancer. Ms. Midler's love for Jackie shines right through, and the supporting cast rocks the house: David Hyde Pierce, John Cleese, Nathan Lane, and Stockard Channing, who's a riot as Jackie's actress friend, especially when she comes in reeling off some horror story about working with the Nelson family on the Ozzie & Harriet series, and when she finishes, Bette's Jackie nods in agreement and hisses, "They're cocksuckers!" It's always one of those "play that again!" moments for me.
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1981) - Another great girl trio flick, starring Diane Lane, the yooooouuunggg Laura Dern, Ray Winstone (from Sexy Beast), Steve and Paul from the Pistols, and Paul Simonon, who was the most perfect piece of eye candy to ever grace the early 80's screen, even for that brief, cheesy moment. Remember Fee Waybill of the Tubes, playing the lead singer of Metal Corpses? In a hideous twist of fate, former Tubes and Grateful Dead keyboardist Vince Welnick, who just passed away last Friday, was also in the film. He also appeared in Xanadu and on Alice Cooper and Friends. Rest in peace, sir...
Attention, Austinites! The Alamo Drafthouse is hosting a double bill of this with BVD this Saturday, the 10th, at the Independence Brewing Co. You've gotta go! For me! Being broke blows goats, and I wouldn't get much further than Waco, even on my crappy credit. But if you go, promise me you'll have your picture taken with Cynthia Myers and Erica Gavin, and give my best to Z-Man.
posted by No, You Can't Watch at 12:04 AM
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