Ready to reach out and grab 2009 by the balls (and squeeze real hard)

New Year's resolutions? I actually sat down to write some out on Christmas Eve. Oh yes, I did! Gimme a cookie, bitches!

Not really. But I'll do my damnedest to make 'em a reality. Honest Injun...

NO, YOU CAN'T WATCH'S TOP 10 FOR 2009:

1. You will no longer be a creep magnet. Unless the said 'creep' makes it worth your while. But don't count on it.

2. Your intuition rules.

3. Live for yourself.

4. Get a vibrator already!

5. Go to Japan or Turkey. Or both.

6. Sally forth.

7. Jam econo.

8. Finish your damn novel.

9. Blog more.

10. Learn the difference between forgiveness and amnesia.